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Relationships are meant for two people who willingly agree to a date. They share their fears and insecurities. But for some individuals, even if they discuss their insecurities, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are cured of it. Insecure individuals are always suspicious of their partners and believe that they will abandon them some day. They don’t trust them. They are the ones who stalk their partners (online and offline) and don’t give them any liberty. When the relationship finally ends, they don’t accept their mistakes nor do they blame themselves, rather, they transfer their insecurities to subsequent relationships. Being insecure does not do you any good. These tips will help you get over your relationship insecurities:

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  • Don’t create problems that don’t exist

Due to insecurity, some people deliberately create problems in their relationships in a bid to determine if they are on the same page with their partners or not. The reaction of their partners will help them decide if he/she loves them. There are smart ways to do this. Don’t create problems where there is none.

  • Don’t judge current relationships on past ones

Your encounters in your former relationship may be unpleasant but that doesn’t mean you should take it out on whoever you are dating now. Have a clear mind and know that this is a new person that you can trust. Leave the fears you had in the past, lock them there and throw away the keys.

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  • Stop giving meaning to everything your lover says

You read meanings to everything your partner says. If she says I am meeting a friend, all sorts of negative thoughts begin to play out in your mind. This is because you are misinterpreting the ‘meeting’ that she talked about. Keep your assumptions to yourself, accept what she tells you, ask one or two questions and stop there. Don’t take it to the extreme saying what you are not meant to say.

  • Know that there are no perfect relationships

There is nothing like a perfect relationship. Insecure people have a high regard for themselves and are always searching for a perfect love life. Hence, if whoever they are dating fall short of their standards, they attempt to cajole the person to meet it. If they can’t, their insecurities begin to manifest.

  • Maintain your independence

It is difficult to maintain your independence if you are in love with someone. However, whether you lose it or not, try to keep the unique aspects of yourselves, which brought you together at the very beginning. Being able to do this will limit insecure actions and thoughts.

Written by Damilola Faustino

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