1- This eternal reminder that you’ll never be able to sit comfortably in jean shorts.
And belts don’t help, either.
2. So you’ve begun shopping in the children’s section once again.
You feel yourself regressing back into your youth, rather than moving forward, but you can’t help it. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do…
3. Friendship bands go halfway up your forearm.
And slip off your wrists on very cold days.
4. You ALWAYS have to get your rings adjusted.
Otherwise they slide off your finger into the eternal black hole that is the drain.
RIP to your ring. We had a good run, but the time has come to bid you farewell.
5. All of your belts need an extra hole.
That you sometimes make yourself by repeatedly poking a pen against the underside of the belt (and accidentally stabbing yourself 6 million times in the process).
6. And if the extra hole doesn’t work, you get creative.
It’s a fashion statement, right?
7. You’ve spent a lifetime fiddling with clothes that are almost always falling off.
8. Try as you might…
You just can’t seem to gain any weight.
9. You vs. your friends.
Being thin might be good for fashion magazines and catwalks, but it doesn’t usually do so hot at dance clubs. You, who have always dreamed of being a little more ~curvy~, know it well.
10. Your arms and legs fit in places where human beings generally do not fit.
11. Whenever there’s a full car, you know where you’re going to end up:
12. You’re never allowed to complain about anything because everyone seems to think that being thin is wonderful, 100% of the time.
13. And there’s always, ALWAYS someone who wants to lift you off the ground.
I may be skinny, but that doesn’t give you license to go around picking me up all the time! ESPECIALLY without asking me first.