Yes, there are many valid reasons for breaking off an engagement.
Sometimes, life isn’t quite so straightforward, and certain traits and feelings about your partner don’t come to light until after the ring is on your finger. While engagement and marriage might are big commitments, that doesn’t mean you should be afraid to call it off if something doesn’t feel quite right.
If you’re having major doubts about the marriage, here are 5 signs you might need to call off the engagement:
You’re Still Waiting for Your Partner to Change
Maybe you thought that taking your relationship to the next level would help your partner drink less, spend more time with you, give up that unhealthy hobby, or any other issue you were hoping would resolve while dating…but hasn’t. Unfortunately, problematic behaviors while dating rarely resolve themselves just because you get engaged, married, or have kids. If something is still troubling you, it’s time to have a serious conversation and possibly delay or call off the engagement until the issue is resolved.”
Opposite Moral Values
If moral values aren’t something you haven’t discussed before your marriage, this could cause strife later in life. Some people find it refreshing to have different views, but others might find it difficult to share a life with someone that has completely different morals and beliefs. When you choose a spouse, they should be a reflection of yourself. That’s not to say they can’t have differences, but if you eventually come to realize they don’t have any of the same values, how can you share a life together? If you can’t see eye to eye or respect your differences, you might not be a good fit for each other.
Do you feel compelled to constantly check your partner’s phone and social media accounts for suspicious activity? Are there unexplained late nights and constant lying? Even if they eventually apologize for bad behavior, this should be a major roadblock and a chance for you to reevaluate your relationship. Marriage requires an enormous amount of trust, and if that isn’t there, why would you even consider this person as your partner for life?
You Still Want to Do Some Things You Can’t Compromise On
If you are about to sacrifice goals and dreams that would be far easier to accomplish as a single person—that is something else to think long and hard about. If you want to see the world and he/she doesn’t, why get married and sulk about it or try and pressure him/her to do what he/she isn’t interested in? Wait and go now. If you want to go finish school but he/she wants to have kids right away, maybe y’all should cool things off for a bit. If there is a business that you want to get off of the ground that you know will take up a lot of your time and attention, getting married right at this second could be like raising twins. Literally. Being a selfish spouse is one thing but feeling like you are being selfish simply because you are still single and want to do some things that would be easier done as a single person is smart, wise, and highly recommended.
If you aren’t absolutely sure you want to get married, you probably shouldn’t be. It is normal to have cold feet, but if you mostly feel ambivalence, you are not ready for marriage or at least not in love. Marriage of convenience, necessity, or on a whim is never a great idea. It can be easy to get caught up in the idea of marriage and a strong desire to prevent heartache by saying, “No” to a proposal. Don’t let that be why you are getting married. Or are you just thinking about a wedding? Remember that a wedding is different from marriage and if you’re just thinking about the wedding then you might need to reconsider this engagement.
By: Dammy Eneli