Do you feel like you have a major relationship problem and it looks like a catastrophe? Well, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Nobody expects it to be perfect. The beauty of the relationships is their capability to make it grow, to push you to evolve and get closer to our true self. If you agree with that, you would agree that every problem is not a problem. It is just a challenge, a question that needs an answer. It gives you the opportunity to bring out the best in your relationship and go through the struggle as winners.
Do not panic
Getting to the stage where everything looks like on edge, it’s not going to help you. You want to go through the problem as fast as possible and to fix it like it’s a broken vase? It is not going to happen so soon. Many people are going through mental fatigue because they’ve got a problem with their loved one. They over-think and over-react, go through tears, depression and make the things even worst. It is just advisable that you should not panic.
Give it a time
It all depends on how significant the problem you’ve got is. But the most important thing is do not rush. There are not many things that can be fixed overnight. Everything takes time and just because you’re capable of forgetting about a mistake, rude word or attitude very fast, it doesn’t mean the other can do it as well. Give it time. You’ve made a mistake? You apologised, and your partner forgave you, but he/she still acts a bit weird? Give it time.
Listen and feel
Even if the other doesn’t want to talk – listen and feel his/her emotions. Look at the other’s eyes. They will tell you a lot about how to proceed. If you feel that the other is stepping back – give him time. Forget about sentences that start with “It is your fault..” and “If you didn’t… I wouldn’t..”. Focus on how to speak with love. If you feel you get too overwhelmed and start raising your voices – give it a half hour break and go into separate rooms. Stay alone with yourself and when you feel you’re ready – proceed with the conversation.
Accept it is your fault
It is not always your fault. But you have to understand – it is still your fault as well! Sounds too insane? No matter the relationship – it takes two to create it. It takes two to love each other, it takes two to make the decisions, and it takes two to break it! No matter the problem – there is something you did wrong as well. So, be honest with the other and be honest with yourself. Admit it. Show responsibility and the right person will not take advantage of that but will appreciate it.
Be open to others
Now is your time to say it. Say why you feel hurt or why you did something. Share what you think about the other’s attitude – kindly and with love. It’s the worst that could happen? Someone, to be mad about it? Well, that already happened! To be able to get the whole puzzle and see the picture – you would need all of the pieces, wouldn’t you? It’s the same with solving a problem – you will need all the information so you could deal with the situation successfully.
Be serious about making promises
Trust is one of the basics of a relationship. There is no relationship if there’s no trust between you two. And trust takes time. You have to build it piece by piece and action by action. When you promise to your beloved you will work on something in your relationship – you better do it. And ask for the same on the other side.
By Damilola Faustino