An individual shuts down in a relationship when a person tends to completely decline to communicate or cooperate. This can happen because many times one of the partners likes to take some time off in order to clear their mind. Some partners are very confrontational in their approach. Whenever disagreements arise they want to talk and sort matter immediately. If your partner shuts down below are certain ways that can help you deal with the situation as it is a silent killer to the relationship.
It is very natural that when one partner shuts down the other person is bound to be anxious. It is essential to understand and realize the intention behind such behaviour. It is vital for both partners to understand whether this method is effective or not while negotiating.
Apologise and communicate
When a person disregards the presence and speech of the other person the message it leads is that the other person is not very important. Thus it becomes very vital to express yourself about the situation or about the partner to them even after a certain lapse of time. Communicating is just not enough but positive communication is a very major aspect. It becomes essential that while communicating people should use more positive words.
Support and empathy
Many times when your partner shuts down you tend to get frustrated and persuade them to talk. Such a behaviour wouldn’t convey that you support your partner. Instead, you can show your love and support by giving them their space and opportunity that they can come back and talk whenever they are prepared for it rather than to shut them out.
Focus on yourself
Even though shutting down makes the other person feel unloved and can create a feeling of rejection. The person might wonder about his/her value. But if your partner engages in stonewalling it is essential to keep their behaviour and their feelings towards you separate. When your partner gives you silent treatments remember that their need to take a break has nothing to do with your value in his/her life.
It is very obvious that no relationship can work without communication. No matter what an individual feels it becomes necessary to share those feelings. If the couple feels they need to take certain time off make sure that you can set a certain time limit to that. The couple should not take more than 2-3 hours of the time limit.
Self-talk and self-soothing
Self-talk is another way to keep your mind calm. It is important to remind yourself that things will be fine and that this situation will end soon. The person should also find ways to navigate through their emotions by keeping an optimistic frame of mind and viewing things in an encouraging light.
By Damilola Faustino
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