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By 4Lake

So I woke up last week Monday to the worst of all news headlines; ASUU has suspended the ongoing strike. Immediately I made this announcement, Iya Folake started dancing up and down and I was like what is wrong with this woman? Who dey go school? Na who dey dance? Don’t get me wrong o I understand her joy at the fact that her kids may graduate at their expected year (that is if ASUU doesn’t act like ASUU again) but can’t she be sympathetic?

senate house unilag

I mean, I was enjoying my holiday (don’t give me that look jor), getting fat, adding hips and nash (don’t even roll your eyes, it’s not funny) only to get called back abruptly to go and face second semester exams? No!! This is bad news fam.

Now, I ought to have written since last week but I decided to sleep for a week and wake up because I believed it was all a dream.

Today is Wednesday, I have woken up and unfortunately, discovered this no be play play at all. I just boarded a bus for Lagos from Toll gate Ibadan and I’m currently waiting for the bus to fill up and trust me, it will take ages. While I wait, let me bant a bit.

So, I think our educational system in Nigeria is kind of complicated (or should I say our leaders are confused?). First, they say you can use your JAMB result for a specific amount of years (was it 2 or 3? I’m not sure) and all of a sudden, we can’t find that policy. Reason? I don’t know and I don’t want to guess (before they come and carry me) but if you aren’t too busy, you can just scroll down the comment box and state.

Again they said no post UTME, so higher institutions can only use screening (that one worked for a bit), now they are saying everybody go and write post UTME. Now this last one burst my brain and keeps bursting it. JAMB cutoff mark, 120?! What?!

I can’t stop wondering why a country’s university cutoff mark would be less than even the cost of petrol (I would talk about this one later). Wait, what am I saying sef, how can a country’s university cutoff mark be equal to the cost of a bottle of kerosene at Ibadan? Its ok, I won’t say more than this.

Alright so I heard (don’t quote me) that Youth Corpers serving in Abia state were told to return to their homes. Now, I did not want to talk about this at all but I have to bant. Why can’t our government just hand us back to the colonial masters (if they would accept us ‘cause right now we are in great debt) since they can’t handle us. I don’t understand how we can’t serve our country in states designated to us in peace (Afterall, we did not actually want to serve, it’s just mandatory)

Or what is this anyway? From Bokoharam to Niger Delta insurgents and now we have graduated to IPOB. Nigeria! I hail oh.

So the bus is about to take off (after two hours of waiting) and I’m seated close to a foreigner.  Our topic of discussion? Our countries. Baba is saying whenever he hears the instrumental of his country’s national anthem being played anywhere, he stands at attention. I couldn’t stop admiring his loyalty to his country. Quick question, Can you do this for Nigeria? (Yimu, I already know your answer).

My name is Folake and I can bant on any and everything. To every akokite I say best of luck in the forthcoming exams.


These are just bants. I ain’t complaining (of course I am) neither am I proffering a solution to Nigeria’s wahala. But if you have suggestions as to those solutions, I’ll be glad to read them in the comments below.


Read Rants Of A Bored Akokite Part 1 Here

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