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A decade or two ago, lovers co-habiting together was totally frowned upon. In some societies it was a complete no no. Unmarried couples who live together were scorned by the society and the lady was regarded as being loose and having no dignity. Nowadays, the rest of the world doesn’t seem to mind as much. Some couples even blatantly say no to formal marriage and prefer to cohabit and raise children. But in Nigeria, we’re still not entirely down with the idea.

Of course partners have personal reasons as to why they can or can’t get behind the idea of cohabitation but whatever your reason is take a look at some of the things you’ll hear (especially here in Naija) before deciding on co-habiting with your lover:

-The Ugly Phrase: You’ve probably heard of the phrase “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” as sad as this phrase sounds it is a blatant truth. People will assume that if your partner can get sexual satisfaction on a daily basis from you already, then the sexual motivation which is a crucial part of marriage proposal is lost. This probably isn’t the case, but your grandma will say it anyway.

Passionless Couples: When couples live together, people assume before marriage, the passion and enthusiasm are taken away as the guy loses interest in constantly trying to dazzle his lady and vice versa. Again, it’s probably not true.

Embittered Couples: After living together for so long, chances are that one person is definitely going to push for marriage more rigorously. If the other person wants that, it’s ok. But if not, things get weird.  After a series of expecting marriage proposals on special days and dealing with disappointment, someone will inevitably become frustrated.

It is easy to throw in the towel: People assume cohabiting takes away the need for serious commitment that marriage provides. To a certain extent, this might be true. You don’t need to be married to make a commitment to someone. But knowing there are no legal repercussions makes it a lot easier to break that commitment and walk away.


Written by Treasure Asanammy