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According to the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics (NBS), 4.58 million Nigerians have lost their jobs since President Muhammadu Buhari came into office. This obviously means there are more women now with menial jobs and business like shops e.t.c, becoming breadwinners of the family. I’ve always observed previously and is turning out to be a loopy rave especially for young ladies who aren’t even in the labor market yet. The issue these days isn’t so much that the young guys are “intimidated” by the uptown girl dreams of the lady (there are some, but you don’t want them anyway) but rather that this uptown girl in the making refuses to date the young hardworking guy. and this goes vice versa for adults who are already in the labor market whether a 9-5 Job or an entrepreneur But why is this the case in 2016?

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Isn’t the point of being independently wealthy so that you can do what you want when you want? Doesn’t the value of being self-sufficient come in not having to worry about someone supporting you? If youre a woman who is in the top 10% of earners and you INSIST that your man out earns you youve now eliminated 90% of the dating population. For a self-sufficient, high-earning man, a woman’s earning potential carries very little weight. Why? Because we have always been taught that nobody is going to pay our way in life. This gives men the freedom to choose a partner based on what matters most – character, kindness, fun, humor, compatibility – as opposed to mere earning potential. That’s the FREEDOM of making more money.

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So why do women treat being low-earners like it’s a curse? like the “should a guy get married on a N200,000 salary?” The question that got internet buzzing sometimes ago I’ve never heard women asked the same question? Which is – in my estimation – one of the main reasons it’s easier for men to find love. We’re not looking at you to support us because we can support ourselves, so we’re free to choose whomever we want. The question remains: if you can support yourself as well as any man can support himself, what DIFFERENCE does it make what he earns? Why is your boyfriend, the shoemaker, “bad husband potential” when his girlfriend, the painter, is just “his girlfriend?” I mean isn’t being financially independent, why she went to school,;

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Haven’t we evolved enough to true equality that it doesn’t matter who makes more as long as the couple as a unit is doing okay? Or are women stuck on the old world order where men provided and women took care of the home – even though most N200,000 earning women don’t want to be homemakers? Do women want it both ways? Do you want the option of quitting work and maintaining your high lifestyle, when men don’t have this option? If so, is this the rare double-standard that works in favor of women? Frankly, I think that successful women holding out for more successful men is as counterproductive as wealthy men doing the same thing – which, as you might have notice, they don’t.

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I would love your thoughts on whether women should continue to hold out for men who make more – with these two caveats:

  • Please don’t SAY I’m being sexist for making the observation that most women want a man to outearn them. It’s an observation, not a judgment.
  • Please, I’M NOT encouraging women to date deadbeat lazy guys  with no money, no ambition, and tons of debt. It’s not all or nothing. Just as I say you can compromise on chemistry – from a 10 to a 7 – I’m simply wondering aloud why a woman with her own money can’t date a man who makes N200,000, the exact same way a man with his own money can date a woman who makes N200,000.

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