Following the rise of reported domestic violence cases in Lagos, it is quite evident that this vice has found its way into the roots of the system and it is high time we took a firm and unchanging position about getting it out of our midst.
Domestic violence usually occurs among people who have some sort of intimate relationships and most times, people who are the closest inflict the deepest kinds of pain. Beyond the physical pain inflicted by this evil is the fact that the victim cannot understand why people who are supposedly in the place of providing emotional and mental support are the ones who are actually predators.
I would like to think domestic violence has been in existence for a very long time but it seems more prevalent now because of the pervasiveness of the new media and the viral nature of information on these media.
Growing up, many years ago, our residence had five flats and my parents as well as another family in our compound at the time were probably the only families that did not raise any concerns in this regard. Of the other three families in that compound, two of the men regularly beat their wives and the third family – the woman often cursed her husband very loudly.
These stories are probably not new to some of us, as we have experienced these situations first hand. I walked into Shop Rite recently to get a few things and just as I was picking a basket to carry the things I would eventually buy, I saw a tall and handsome man who looked at the woman by his side and talked to her violently in hush tones.
He said “what you just did, do not ever try it here again else you know what I can do.” The woman whom I assumed to be his girlfriend or wife looked on the ground in humiliation and fear. I saw it all over her. I could feel the energy. I gave him a cold hard stare and he understood that I saw what he meant to hide. Rounding off my shopping again, I saw the duo but this time, hand in hand. I passed by them, he gave me that it-is-not-your-business-she-is-mine-look. It was obvious. This was another case.
The UN Women, an arm of the United Nations Organisation from a research carried out recently, have affirmed that there is truly a rise in domestic violence across the world. I know that not only women are victims, even men are being abused and that is even harder to report because of the stereotypical positions of society that men have to be strong and indomitable. So men that are being abused often do not have the courage or humility to own up and report such cases. When issues like these are being discussed, people laugh or treat it in such trivial manner that even the men who are victims would rather die than come out boldly to say they were being abused.
To be continued Next Week…
By Oludara Ogunbowale
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