Not a lot of people know this, and to be honest, I feel kind of vulnerable putting this out there cause a lot of my colleagues and friends (who actually know the face behind Diary Of A Lagos Millennial), are going to be reading this, and are going to be knowing a lot of details about my life that I don’t normally share. But, when I started this blog, I told myself that I was going to be sincere and open with my readers, and so I have to do just that. I’m pretty sure you already know this, because it’s boldly written in the title but yeah I struggle with anxiety.
It’s a really huge thing that I struggle with, to the point where I have anxiety attacks. My anxiety attacks are not so extreme as to the point where I’m basically panicking and gasping for breath,mine first of all start of with mood swings, then a headache, then they eventually involve me removing myself from the situation or the room and going for a walk, or sitting on the toilet or distracting myself by talking to one of my friends. If I don’t do that, I’m afraid it might get to the point where I’m gasping for breath. Sometimes, my anxiety attacks just involve me crying profusely.
One of my constant anxiety triggers is conversations. I get serious anxiety when it comes to speaking to people; friends, colleagues, strangers etc. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be face to face conversations, I get anxiety even when I’m texting. It doesn’t happen with everyone though but it does happen with most people. I get anxiety because I’m think about what to say next, I’m worried about saying something stupid, I’m worried about an awkward moment, I’m thinking about the person’s reply…the list goes on, and before I know it, I’m over thinking and basically almost panicking but on the outside, I have a HUGE smile on my face like everything is fine in my head.
I know now that when people are talking to me, they’ll probably be wondering what I’m thinking and probably assuming that I’m having anxiety as I’m talking to them. Let me start off by saying, IT DOES NOT HAPPEN WITH EVERYONE! And if it happens with you (which you wouldn’t know, because when it come to putting up a poker face, I’m a pro) don’t take it as a compliment!
Due to the fact that I don’t want to make this blog post too long, I have divided it into two parts. So I have told you about the fact that I have anxiety, in the second part, I’ll be telling you about how I’ve lived with it (my anxiety stories) and dealt with it.
Till next time- Diary Of A Lagos Millennial