Hello guys. First of all let me apologize for being missing in action for a while. Even my Accelerate friends have been asking me how far, and what I’m writing next.
So here I am…..in the flesh…abi in the text. To get straight into it, I heard amebo on Saturday, or rather an argument I was in. First i’ll give you the question and then I’ll give you the recommendation.
The Question: HE acts like he likes me, so why does he take me for granted?
This was thrown to me by a new friend. I was hanging out with a colleague from the office (we just call her kiki) and her own friend came along. Her friend is Anjola. They sha teased me about this my Sister Bunmi column and decided to ask their own question for me to tackle…..and now…we tackle.
Here’s What she asked;
The Problem: So I met a guy in March. We met at Landmark in Lagos, at a one African basketball thingy. He’s tall and fresh. Charisma on point. He’s a car dealer actually. Has a showroom in Lekki and doing well. So as we met and exchanged contacts he acted like he was super interested, so me I didn’t front. I allowed him get close. I used to call and text and I initiated all the ”let’s hang out”, ”what are we doing tonight” etc. He seemed like a guy who was into moving along with it. Time sha passed and all of a sudden he now acts like he’s the only one who’s busy, like me I’m jobless. He’s still sweet sometimes but he just doesn’t put in effort like when we started talking and used to plan hangouts.
So my question. What is doing the goat, (she honestly said this) and what should i do?
The Cause: My dear. Me and you have already joked about this the day you gisted me, but let me still appreciate your putting it forward. Now you sef appreciate the mumu image above. LOL
Now lets get to it. First of all i’m going to ask you a question for us to identify the cause. Look at this slice of cake below.
If you like cake, and you were offered this slice of cake, you tasted it, you loved it, and the rest of it was taken away. Will you want some more of it?
You probably will. If you were given only a taste…..you will long for some more…because it is not available.
Now check this out. Look at this full cake below.
If you were given this entire cake……only you oh. And they say oya take and kee yoursef. Be sincere, how many slices do you think you will eat……before you get tired?
That’s the point. Anything given in overdose amount gets tiring. So likewise, when you met your Mr Man, you may have been too available, and probably you didn’t give him a chance to miss you…or desire you. Men need to be trained oh. If you want to keep him, you gotta train him to even want you.
The Solution: Give a slice and take the cake away.
Give a slice and take the cake away…….if he wants more cake he knows where to come get it. So when you meet a guy and he seems interested, give him a chance to act on his interest. Give him some space so he reaches out to you and establishes that he wants to be talking to you, texting you or visiting you. How you do this is by controlling yoursef oh.
If you meet a man and do all the work for him, he will leave you to keep doing it.
I’m not saying you should front or do shakara, but please sisi mi, still do very small shakara. If you are too eager to plan hangout date and doing the whole checking up on him every time….he may feel like he has conquered already and there’s no more excitement for him.
Remember you just met him so you can’t trust him with being too free with yourself. Save some mystery by allowing him to come after you. If you do this, he will get used to putting some effort into your matter and be more persistent. As he takes these steps of course, you will respond. But you will keep him in check at first by not being toooooo available or asking him ”what are we doing this weekend” every time. LOL. Don’t be taken for granted ladies. You are jollof rice…not white rice. What do you guys think? Am I on track?
Sister Bunmi…signing out.