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So, a little break from finance and a piece on self-improvement. Last week I updated my WhatsApp status with a statement and it apparently resonated with lots of persons and I felt I should put out a piece on this, I typed out this statement;

Loving yourself with your flaws and all, making efforts to be better, makes it easier to love and be more understanding of others, baby girl, cut yourself and others some slack and just enjoy your life”

I typed this off my head based off the situation at the time, I was thinking of how easy it was to become very judgemental of others especially when you think that they do not measure to your standards or even judge face value without getting to know the core of each person.

Let me ask a few questions and see if you can relate, are you career driven, ever been told that you are too serious, unyielding, emotionless, and calculating more especially as a woman or do you know someone that is this way?

In all honesty, you actually just think that you are driven, focused, independent and absolutely can’t stand time wasters, essentially you don’t take crap from anyone and you sincerely wonder why others can’t be the same.  You’ve always been this way and it has worked for you overtime, infact everything you have achieved so far can be attributed to these qualities.

Not only do you possess these attributes, you also hold others to these standards, and you can’t stand persons that do not share these same qualities that you hold so dear. Now there is nothing wrong in been very driven, focused, and being intentional even, if you have lofty ambitions, you  absolutely need these qualities, however , just because you possess these qualities does mean that you should hold others to these standards because people are different and have different experiences, in short, what has worked for you might not be what has worked for them so far.

Can you encourage them, Yes Why not ?, but should you be judgemental , No, because what happens eventually is that people would not want to associate with you and before you say “ I absolutely do not care what others think about me” Oh yes , you should, this is because perception is more important than reality. You would save yourself a lot of headache and time if just build, maintain and keep relationships.

It is time unlearn and begin to relearn some things in order to propel you to the next level e.g inculcate new attributes, learn how to build relationships. The truth is no one was born a particular way, all the attributes we manifest today was learned and thus can be unlearned. You could learn to be warm, flexible, spontaneous, network and build relationships etc, essentially, learn behaviours that you don’t have but would propel you to the next phase of your life or career, you could do that by studying other people or by reading on these behavioural patterns

Also, it is so easy to get carried away with work,  such that you don’t have a life outside of work, all you do is work, it is pertinent that we ask ourselves if we have relationships (family and friends), or a life outside of work and if the answer is in the negative, constantly strive to improve in this area.

Sometimes, just do something out of the ordinary, totally unexpected, (nothing illegal though) and cut others some slack, don’t be judgemental and basically……just enjoy your life.

By: Seun Adebisi.

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