Fighting is normal in any relationship. But when you fight almost every day because you cannot control your anger, it is no longer a healthy relationship. One of you will soon get tired, frustrated and quit. Clearly, you do not want that. If you really and truly love each other, it is time for both of you to quit the fights and start loving each other like it was at the beginning. We gather some tips for you:
—Identify the triggers of your temper
The first step to ending the fights is to identify the reasons why you lose your temper and address it. More often than not, our anger stems out of the fact that we do not really trust our partners. Be honest when answering this question. Once you have a good idea of what your temper triggers are, let your partner know about them as soon as possible.
—Learn ways to calm down
Once you have identified your triggers and warning signs, you can act immediately to deal with your it before it gets out of control. You can take deep breaths, get rid of negative thoughts, stretch or massage tension areas and slowly count to 10.
—Develop a phrase for when one of you is about to lose your temper
This phrase is like an alert that tells you to control your anger and not lose it. You can develop simple phrases like give me a moment to call you back or I need a time out. If any of you use these phrase, it means they are about to lose it. You should let them be.
—Set a time you will return to talk
The time may be 20, 30 minutes or an hour. It is for the angry party to calm down. Importantly, ensure that it doesn’t go beyond the agreed timeline. Resolving a conflict immediately it occurs is essential if you want a long lasting relationship.
—Find better ways to express your anger
Yes, you have the right to get angry. Regardless, do not just explode like that. You should find better and smart ways to express the anger boiling in your heart. You can take time out to invite him or her for a chat rather than shouting on the phone. Funny enough, your bae won’t listen to whatever you have to say when you are angry.