Written by Ogheneochuko Yesioh
Romantic relationships are tricky. It’s like taking a lucky dip in a wide pool filled with shiny wrapped packages and being content with whatever you find beneath the wrappers. But just as every human is with their different flaws, we learn to just enjoy what we find, set our sails and flow into a river of love. Many times, due to a number of reasons, our ships may hit the rocks… But that’s a whole different story, sometimes, we do not know how to sail, we press the wrong button and deliberately punch holes that cause our love boat to start sinking. That’s what this post is about:
Ways in which we sabotage our relationships
Checking your partner’s phone: lack of trust is the number 1 sign of an unhealthy relationship. Why would you want be in one if you can’t trust your partner enough that they are faithful, or you don’t know them enough to believe what they tell you without having to snoop through their phones. The downside of this is: you could find just what you’re looking for and be drawn into the emotional turmoil of a heartbreak. The best way to love is to trust.
Comparing them with others: no two relationships are equal. No two relationships are the same because as individuals we have our own different personalities and characteristics and ways of expressing love. In this age of social media, a lot of relationships are threatened with unrealistic expectations of love or the picture perfect feel of it. Instagram love and relationship goals. The truth is, the best relationships are those ones where you settle down and love your significant other for who they are, flaws and all. Enjoy what they bring to the table and water your grass without wishing you were on the other side.
Not being friends with them: date your best friend, marry your best friend. True friendship is the most important ingredient for any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Being friends with your significant other is what might help you through the bad days, those days you don’t feel like you’re in love, those days when sexual attraction won’t be enough to keep you beside their sick beds or bad habits. True friendship is what would sail you through.
Lack of communication: communication is key in any relationship, it’s a bridge between our feelings. As humans, we may not always be able to tell what our partners are feeling, but we expect them to talk about it. Happy or sad, love or hate, discontent or content, emotions are better expressed. It makes room for understanding, easy resolution of whatever inevitable dispute that can arise. Expressing emotions also let our feelings flow, rather than bottling up whatever it is, it helps to talk to your partner about it and have them talk back. Deliberate lack of communication, silent treatment, malice and others in a relationship breaks the emotional bridge between both parties.
Killing the romance: the easiest way to sink the love boat is to kill the love, and stop dating. *Smile, I got you there, didn’t I ? Stopping to date means, stopping to do those fun, romantic and sweet things you both did before it became an official relationship. When a relationship becomes boring or monotonous, it loses excitement for both parties and passion. Now that it’s official, stop the monotony, look for exciting things to do as a couple and fill your love life with many romantic memories and experiences. Love is a beautiful feeling and its worth experiencing well.