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How long should sex last? Well, as long as you want it to, I guess. However, don’t base your metrics or KPIs on what you see in porn or in 365. Our views on this have become skewed based on the access and frequency at which we consume sexual content. With these unrealistic standards, people have become quick to judge themselves and their partners’ performance.

According to the Global Sex Survey, which was carried out on 29,000 sexually active adults, if your sessions are satisfying, then there is no specific time limit that suits everyone. It’s a very personal thing. So if 4 minutes of penetration gets you and your partner there, then ride on. (No pun intended, but you see what I did there.)

Miss Ramọtụ had craved to marry Mazi Onyeije who was single at that time, but it didn't work out. Onyeije could not summon enough courage to take a Nupe girl home as a wife. He feared that his parents would disown him. And they would have done so. The sentiment against northern girls was not good at that time, which was a few years after Nigeria/Biafra civil war. With heavy heart, Onyeije had to return to his base in Lagos after a year without knowing that Ramọtụ had become pregnant.

The key message here, in trying to determine how long sex should last is that you need to stop comparing yourself to other people or couples you know. You should also go a step further and not compare the physical aspect of your present relationship to any of your previous relationships. It’s unfair to both you and your partner. If the duration of your sessions is not satisfying, then have an open and honest conversation on how to make your sessions last longer and what you would like more of.

So remember, comparison is the thief of joy…or in this case, pleasure.

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