Ending a toxic relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself, but is there a way to peacefully end it that won’t leave you feeling emotionally drained and negative? If you and your partner are in a battle to the end, it isn’t likely to be a happy ending, but leaving with your dignity intact and feeling positive about the future is about the best you can hope to achieve. Here are sure ways to end such a relationship if you are in one.
Accept responsibility for the role you played
You probably don’t want to hear this, but you are not blameless when it comes to being in a toxic relationship. This might mean that you should have spoken up when things were just a little annoying, but before they became emotionally draining. No matter, your partner is not the only person in the partnership so you play a part, and you are accountable for that role.
Surround yourself with positive individuals
Your social support system will be very important to you now as you seek to peacefully exit your toxic relationship. Bounce concerns off of your friends and ask for their input. You will probably be surprised by how helpful people can be when they know that their friend is suffering.
Forgive your ex
Holding feelings of anger, hurt, regret, or resentment will only hurt your own mental and psychological well-being. In order to help yourself heal completely, you will have to let go of the negative emotions that will otherwise hold you back. This can be a difficult choice to make because you may feel justified in feeling the way you do, however, your emotional state is a choice.
Find what is stopping you from leaving
There’s a reason that you are staying in a toxic relationship. It could be simply a matter of having housing, but something is making you stay with your partner. Once you know what it is that is keeping you there, ask yourself, “If ____ wasn’t an issue and I had that on my own, would I still choose to stay?” If the answer is no, it’s time to find a way to get what you are missing so you can move on.
Express your emotional state
Anxiety, stress, feeling worthless, hopelessness; all of these are negative emotions that you need to be able to recognize in yourself. When something doesn’t feel right, put a name to it. Say “I feel depressed when ___ happens” or “I am angry about _____. Being able to name your negative emotions is a good start to knowing that there are too many of them and that you want them to be positive emotions like joy instead.
Learn a lesson (s)
Leaving a toxic relationship is rarely filled with only positive emotions. While you are in the midst of emotional distress, think about the relationship as a lesson for future relationships. One of the best ways to peacefully end a toxic relationship is to find a way to walk away having grown as a person and learned something about yourself.
By Damilola Faustino