Hello again everyone,
This week there weren’t that many questions for me (ask away world, I’m ready), but not to worry, I had many opportunities to talk to friends and family. So here is the one topic that really stuck out:
“How do I know if he likes me?”
Yes, this actually is still a question an actual adult asked me. Well, they didn’t ask it directly but you don’t become a self-proclaimed agony aunt without knowing how to read between the lines.
A friend of mine (27 year old and lets just call her Jane) was quiet as all of us jisted over those giant goblets of cocktails you get at Lagoon. So I had to table her matter and asked her what was up. She just said nothing was the problem (and of course then proceeds to tell me what the problem was) that she knows this guy and likes him, but just can’t figure out if he likes her or “likes” her. So I laughed and told her this.
Men are not nearly as complex as us ladies. They are not as straight forward as frying an egg, but truth be told, they are usually quite easy to read. If he calls or texts you regularly, then he likes you. If he goes out of his way to see you or be with you, then he likes you. If he is making a conscious effort to meet your friends then, yes he likes you.
But, no! Stop all that and realize you are an adult in the real world. This isn’t Vampire Dairies. No you are not Ugly Betty and there is no Gossip Girl writing about you. This is Lagos and you are not in JS 1 so just use your words. If a guy likes you he will say so, but if he is working in slow motion and you know how you feel about him….just ask.
Yeah, yeah, we are in Nigeria and we don’t expect the woman to make the 1st move, but abeg who that one epp? I have always prescribed to the philosophy, that as human beings, all we have are words. So if we decide not to use them, then we shouldn’t complain when there are misunderstandings.
Communication comes in many forms, spoken, physical, body language, and even just with your eyes you can say a whole lot. So we women have spent decades mastering this act, but please… Image all the time we would have saved if we just asked the guy what he is thinking? If he has sense, then he would just tell you… and if he doesn’t, and likes the chase or the game etc… then play if that’s what you want… if it isn’t? Move on with your life.
So as you can image, she didn’t ask him as she thought it would scare him away. And yes, she is still moping on nights out so I have freed her. I do with her the best though…. (Hi “Jane”…lol)
So there you have it… Have anything you need advise on? Just send your questions to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will do my best to help whatever the situation.
Read up on Sister Bunmi’s answer to dealing with what to do when bae has stinky breath.