Late night within Lagos could be the most beautiful or an awful experience you can ever have, but either way, Lagos is a totally different city at night. From the beautiful street lights that define the look of the third mainland bridge, to the little LED road demarcation lights in Alausa. The Ikoyi-Lekki bridge comes alive, and the magnificent lighting of the National Theatre, then suddenly you can’t find your private part!
I’m just kidding. You cannot find your purse, wallet or phone. Well, this might not happen to you if you have those strong abs, but for guys like me, here are five basic things you need to know if you want to take late night public transport in Lagos.
1) Be aware: See the “eko o gba gbere“ slang is not a slang at all. You have to be aware of your surroundings so avoid distractions, from fights to thief chase, to a bus rush, there is always some drama on the streets of Lagos, this makes it easier for pickpockets to steal your shit***, I mean someone stole someone’s private part the other day, in broad daylight and it was a total mess. So be aware of yourself and your surrounding.
2) Don’t stand for too long on a spot… For every five minutes you need to stand, pace for 2munites or less, trust me someone somewhere might be trying to lock a target, and if they can’t predict your movement then it makes you harder to isolate and target.
3) There are 5 types of people in a bus at night
a) The woman who keeps hammering the fact that you don’t have home training… just because you asked her to shift a bit without greeting her first, and if you try to talk, she will be like “shut your dirty mouth up”
b) The hipster old man: Picking on the most beautiful girl in the bus, and if you happen to be then I’m sorry. He makes a lot of poor jokes and a line or two might actually crank up everyone on the bus.
c) The really smart conductor: This is one of the oldest tricks in the book were a conductor tries to outsmart you by not given you your change immediately. Which brings us back to number one be aware. Don’t forget your change!
d) The drunken master: He is so drunk he has no idea what he is doing, but one thing you can bet, is that he makes it home, most of the time he doesn’t have money on him so, he end off being thrown out of like 5 moving buses before he gets home, but trust me he gets home, one of the most beautiful wonders of Lagos.
e) The sleeper.Now don’t blame them cause I find myself in this kind of situations too at times. It’s mostly due to a really stressful day and all but some people don’t even know how to take a hint. They rest their heads on your shoulders, drooling on your shirt and when you nudge them up, it only takes about a minute before you are back at the same spot.
f) Don’t trust google maps or here drive, it’s dark and you can’t see most of the fucked up street signs we have here! Most of the time it’s outdated. Try and have a description of where you are going and don’t be afraid to ask locals, approached them with confidence and smiles never act as if you are lost.
5) If you are still looking to eat something buy from the bus stop or our trusted aboki kiosks (very reliable guys) don’t trust a shop or store in an estate might still be open. You are just setting yourself up for a night with an empty stomach.
I hope these are helpful and I am sure there are more tips you know that might be helpful. Let us know in the comment section below.
Written By: Samuel O. Olateru