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By Damilola Faustino

Maybe you were blindsided by a breakup – the person you thought would love you forever decided they do not want to be with you anymore. You may also feel like your relationship is losing its spark – you don’t know why or how but things feel distant between you and your partner you thought would love you forever. Here are the main reasons partners might fall out of love with someone:

broken up couple

Feels they can be themselves around you

Great relationships are all about compatibility. So, for a relationship to truly be great,  both partners have to be able to feel like they can be their most authentic, genuine selves around each other. More than that, both partners have to like each other when they’re being genuine.

Relationship interactions are more negative than positive

This is something that can build up over time subconsciously, and eventually destroy a relationship from within. A relationship is great when it feels great to be with the other person. When it starts to feel more negative than positive, a relationship can quickly break down. Whatever the reason, if the scale tips towards more negative interactions than positive ones, it can make even the most lovestruck person fall out of love and decide to leave a relationship.

The emotional intimacy is lost

It’s about two people integrating their lives to the point where they’re running their relationship almost like a business. Questions about whether chores or mutual errands were taken care of dominate, rather than emotional or physical connection. If you find that your interactions with him are more businesslike than intimate, more centered around accomplishing unromantic tasks rather than enjoying being with each other – it’s a big sign that the emotional intimacy of your relationship is fading.

Mistaken love for infatuation

One of the most painful reasons why a someone might fall out of love is that they realise that they were not really in love with you in the first place. This is much more likely to be the case in a newer relationship, especially if you’ve been dating under a year. The passion, intimacy, and fire at the start of a relationship is enough to overwhelm both men and women and make them think that they have deeper feelings than they really do.

Incompatible life goals

Maybe he wants kids and you don’t. Maybe you want to live in the country while he wants to live in the city. Maybe he wants a house and a backyard while you’re happy renting. Whatever the incompatibility – he’s having to face it full on and realizing that things aren’t going to change and that you’re not going to be able to compromise.

You do not admire each other anymore

It’s so important to feel like an attractive, desirable person in a relationship. Guys especially want to feel like they’re winning at all aspects of their lives. Guys are happiest when they feel that they’re succeeding at work, at play, in relationships, anything. So if he’s with someone and it doesn’t feel like she admires him, or even likes him all that much, it hurts him down to his core.

Both of you stop putting efforts

This is something else that’s normal as a relationship goes along – both partners will relax a little bit. Totally normal and unremarkable – and not relationship breaking. What is relationship breaking is when one partner lets themselves go in a way where they completely stop putting in the effort. The things they did to be their best selves no longer apply.
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