So this week we are going to dig a little deeper here. We have skirted the surface on How To Be A Man and now we actually have to get stuck in and talk about sex!
How To Have Sex
As a man we know you will be having sex, have had sex and maybe you are plotting your graph to try and get some tonight self. But the truth is we all have very different ideologies and relationships with sex.
So lets take this slow (that’s what she said…lol…). Looking back I know my 1st experience in this arena of adult playtime was not exactly the type of story a man brags about over a beer with friends. For me it was one of my deepest darkest secrets.
But over the weeks we’ve grown closer so I think I can share this with you (just don’t go telling the world ok?)
So I was 19 and all my friends had been talking about how they lost theirs years ago, I usually stuck with my cheesy line “a gentleman never tells” to avoid going into detail. But little did I know my big day was approaching.
There was a party and we all had so much fun (I won’t go into too much detail) but it was at a friend’s house and I was spending the night there. So as the night died down around 4am, I was on the balcony with this flirty older girl I had been making laugh all night and by this time we were pretty drunk.
I made a flimsy attempt at a kiss and she kind of kissed back and then scurried away. In my drunken state I decided that was enough for the night and went to my room to crash.
As soon as I hit the bed I was out, having vivid sexually charged dreams and then… I realized I wasn’t dreaming.
I woke up properly to see this cute fun girl snuggled up to me smiling as she fell asleep. I just lay there confused… very confused and urm… uncomfortable as, let’s just say I was still “protected”, snuggling with the cute girl turned conqueror and no idea how it all happened.
So to this day, my 1st time is still a mystery to me. However, from gist that later got to me I didn’t let her do anything till she got “the supplies” as I was very adamant about being safe. But to her knowledge I initiated everything and she “participated”.
But yeah, that happened and well, the moral of the story is that having “The Sex” has been inflated as a man’s rite of passage and the be all and end all of relationships. But to my knowledge, after my drunken flailing session, it just proved to me that it is more of an activity than, the Holy Grail.
Sex done right, with both parties getting evenly distributed pleasure can solve many problems and bring people closer. But it is not a sport, not something to use as a weapon or as score card.
With the 1st time out of the way, the emphasis on it’s importance disappeared. So just remember that there are two people in this when it comes to the “ghen ghen”. I could go into tips and tricks but I’ll leave that to the experts.
Whatever you do, just make sure the aim is that both parties get something out of it. So know your partner, have an idea of what they like, get the right equipment and play ball.