By Uche Sokei
As Valentine’s day creeps closer, it feels like there are just 3 notions that would seem to rule the day:
Option one: be a couple. Do some cheesy romantic stuff to show you’re love drunk and post it all over social media for your haters to choke on.
Option two: Be single, be sad, alone and loveless, hopefully not sobbing while eating ice-cream.
Option three: Ignore the day entirely and totally.
But none of the aforementioned options would justice to you than the mega fourth option which is to romance yourself and take yourself on a masturdate (lol get your mind out the gutter).
Key word here is Mastur-date. It means engage on an ordinary date with yourself with the objective to impress and please only yourself. That is the mission for the singles this year. We refuse to sit back and wallow in self-pity while all our friends flaunt love in our faces.
We will fight back and here’s how:
- 1. Run Yourself A Nice Relaxing Bubble bath: yes, this is cliché, but still a damn good way to start a day, by kicking back and relaxing in a warm bubble bathtub. Oh and don’t forget to set the right ambiance with white wine or champagne accompanied by relaxing music. I’ll prescribe ‘Take Me For A Ride’ by the Holy Oysters
- 2. Go to the Spa: You… yes You there. You are deserving of the very best and what better way to pamper yourself than a relaxing trip to the spa. A full bodied Swedish massage or deep tissue massage, full body coffee scrub, delectable steam session, pampering pedicure and brightening facials are enough reasons for you to love YOU. Just remember to blow yourself a kiss in the mirror
- 3. Take Yourself To Dinner: What other way to cap off a day of self love by treating yourself to a lovely, sumptuous gourmet dinner where the main guest and star attraction is… You silly. You don’t have to worry about what someone wants to eat, or carefully micromanaging in order to you don’t go past budget (Lol). Its just and the main bae.. Food, chilling and having a good time *clinks glass*
- 4. See A Late Movie: by the time you’re done with all you had set out to do on your valentine itinerary and it’s too early to call it a night, head right to the cinema and catch a late movie. You would be with the best company (duh yourself) and you won’t be subjected to the nightmare of overcrowded cinemas.
Oh yeah and not to forget, say this to yourself before and after you treat yourself “If I don’t love myself who will?”
By taking yourself out on dates, you’re taking full responsibility for your own happiness. Above all you are developing a strong and caring relationship with yourself, where you get used to treating yourself like you would a best friend. This is the key to happiness.
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