So last week I introduced you to Naked Tuesday, which is basically an account of how annoying/wonderful/unpleasant/awesome it is to be a girl in Nigeria. And boy oh boy, do I have a rant for today.
One of the biggest problems millenials/young Nigerians have is their living situation after university. Almost no one has enough money to run off and live on their own. So they move in with a family member; aunties, uncles, long lost Godmoms and usually, their parents.
There’s a certain adapting period that happens as you go from having all the freedom you want to having to pay attention to rules and your parents/family get to used to the fact that you’re technically sort of not really an adult. The time frame for that adapting period varies; for some people it’s a few weeks while for others it’s like two years. But at some point, you learn to co-exist with your new roomies and all live in harmony…
…except when it comes to marriage.
My parents try their best to be subtle but they’re also super impatient so as soon as I moved back in I started hearing things like
“We want to tie gele oh.”
“Have you thought of baby names?”
“I was reading about Zanzibar the other day…seems like a nice place for a honeymoon.”
“WHEN WILL YOU MARRY!?”
It took them a while to get to that last one but get there they did and now my life has turned into an endless whisper of this same damn question.
I don’t mind my parents wondering this. They made me, they raised me, they want what’s best for me. And what they want is a nice husband to keep me company, put babies in me and occasionally buy me nice things. But what annoys me was the incredibly fast switch up.
See, when I was in uni and all the years before that, all I ever heard was “Focus on your studies and STAY AWAY FROM BOYS!”. It was drummed into my head so much that I at some point thought boys were demonic and sent to ruin me (which a few friends of mine would say is indeed the case). So when they started asking me about marriage I was like “Ah…as I’ve been focused on my studies all this time, where was I supposed to see husband!?”
My situation is hardly unique- pretty much all Nigerian parents spend years telling you to avoid men and then as soon as you put down your pen in your very last exam, they expect you to be married. HOW!?
See ehn, parents and future parents, you have to decide what you want early. Either you accept that your children are going to date while they’re in school and you can dance down the aisle with both your hips still intact. Or, you ensure your children face their book but promise not to ask them any nonsense marriage questions for at least 2-3 years. Marriage is apparently a forever sort of thing- give us time to figure it out!
Even as I’m typing this I can’t focus cos I’m in the middle of a texting war with my aunt who’s accusing me of being ‘wicked’ for ‘not letting her tie gele’. What’s all this…