By Damilola Faustino
So your boyfriend is a nice guy but you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore. Looking for a nice way to break up with him? Follow these simple steps:
Don’t start a fight first
Starting a fight as a means to transition into a breakup is only going to make things worse. Sure, you might think that it’ll be much easier to break up with someone when you’re mad at them because then it takes your pain away. But it’s wrong. This is especially mean if the thing you’re fighting about has nothing to do with why you’re ending the relationship.
Do it in person
Gone are the days of breaking up through phone call or text message. You need to do it in person if you have any a bit of respect for your soon-to-be ex. Breaking up with them in person allows them the opportunity to let out their thoughts and feelings too.
Don’t blame them in any way
Apportioning blame is not the way to break up with someone. Even though they are to blame for you not being happy in the relationship, never make it about them because it causes them the most pain.
Don’t beat around the bush
Don’t set up the breakup with a long, boring speech about how people your age need to explore and all that junk he really doesn’t care about. Breaking up with him the nice way means you get right to the point. It’s always best to be open and honest and just get down to the nitty gritty of it all.
They’re going to be hurt. This feeling might manifest itself in a number of other emotions so just be sensitive to that. If they start yelling and getting mad, try not to act out. Just be there for them. Breaking up with someone and dismissing their feelings or showing that you don’t care is a fast way to make them mad and hurt them even more.
Don’t say you can be friends
While they might want to maintain contact and keep you around, it’s only going to hurt them more and take them longer to heal and move on. This might seem like the nice thing to do, but it’s actually not. If they ask if you can still be friends, just tell them, maybe someday. Explain how you feel it would be best to take time apart in order to sort out your feelings,
Let them be hurt
This is the most important thing you have to do in order to break up with him the nice way. Allow him to be hurt. He’s going to be mad, sad, resentful, and a whole slew of other emotions. But you need to let him feel those things without interfering. This means you need to shut down contact with him for a while until the breakup phase has passed.
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