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Falling out of love is a terrible thing, especially when you fall out of love with yourself or with life. Days just seem to stretch into one another; tiredness, anger, boredom and a general lack of joy and excitement would set in.

During those days, you just want to sit in, listen to sad music, eat all day and hate on the world. These days are almost impossible to escape and can be deathly if we refuse to come out of them. These depressed feelings can lead to depression and even suicide.

But there’s no need to panic because there’s always a way out if you practice these few realistic steps you can overcome those dark days and find love in your life again.


  1. Let your feelings flow: so long as you have a heart, you’ll have feelings, whether sadness, happiness, joy or anger. Your mind should be used as a filter rather than a bad to store negative feelings or emotions. So on those days when you can’t help but feel “oh my life is a mess”, “I have no friends or money” you should carefully guide those negative thoughts by thinking of something colourful.
  2. Be grateful: whether it’s a notepad or just saying things out loud. Make sure you find something everyday to be grateful about. My trick is saying out loud the things I’m grateful about. This helps your mind focus on the good things in your own life
  3. Be a friend: there’s this quote that goes like this “if you’re looking for a friend you will find nine, but if you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them all around you.” Helping people and putting smiles on someone’s face can also cause you to smile. Fun things like volunteering, helping out relatives and family is fun way to spend free time. Rather than just sitting in and moping in misery. Go out and see the world.
  4. Find faith: faith in religion no matter which; christianity, islam, African traditional religion, Buddhism, etc can create a sort of anchor for our souls. Humans are spiritual and it’s fills up a void to know that there’s a big guy up there’s who has your best interest and is looking out for you.
  5. Love your body: nobody is perfect, although media can present is with people who look perfect and seem to have their whole life on check. This is deceptive and can affect people with low self esteem and confidence levels. Learn to love your physical flaws and imperfections, those are the things that make you exactly who you are. Show that fabulous self of yours love by making the right decision, healthy and appropriate that would enable you thrive.
  6. Keep a diary keeping a diary can be a fun way of keeping track of your emotions, happy moments and can also help you discover what triggers those down times. It can help you realise and stop your relationship with certain toxic people and toxic activities.
  7. Create a fun routine: it doesn’t have to be an expensive hobby. Just single out one thing you really love doing. It could be taking a walk, getting ice cream or snuggling up in a bath with wine and music. Fix a particular time every week to enjoy this hobby and create a routine out of it. This can serve as an anchor for the bad days because somehow your mind will be looking forward to that one fun thing you love to do.


I wish you all the best, in soundness of mind and health.


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