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By Damilola Faustino

Relationships require a lot of work and of course, you need to continuously fan your relationship embers to ensure that it does not burn out. But you also have to know when those flames are totally killed and it is time to leave. Fanning ashes will not ignite any new flames, they will only get dust in your eyes. Same with trying to rekindle a relationship that is hopeless. Here’s how to know when to back out of that relationship:

relationship deal breakers

Physical abuse

Whether it is a one-night thing where you got slapped by your partner, or it’s a continual barrage of physical abuse that comes from emotional arguments; when it gets to these points, trust is broken and it’s probably going to be over. The person you used to look to protect you has now become someone who will harm you when things go wrong. You can try to forgive and forget the first incident, but don’t blame them if they do it again.


When your partner has become addicted to the point that it becomes a problem and is affecting your well being, or they have betrayed your trust, the relationship is doomed to fail. If they do not wish to stop and continue their addictive behaviour, then it would be in your best interest to leave.


Cheating is unacceptable especially if you are in a committed relationship. It is possible to forgive someone for cheating and move on, usually if the situation was extremely complex and both parties contributed to it. Forgiveness may work only if both parties are willing to make the necessary changes and put the past behind them. However, if the person is a habitual cheater who just wants to have their cake and eat it too, regardless of your feelings, then it’s time to walk out the door and have some respect for yourself.

You’ve drifted apart

Over time, people just naturally begin to drift apart; interests change, goals change, and people begin to want to take a different path in life. If you are starting to feel this way towards your relationship, you must tell your partner the truth. It is unfair to keep dragging yourself and your partner along just because you are afraid to hurt someone’s feelings.

It’s only physical

If the only thing you have going in your relationship is physical attraction and sex, eventually it will come to an end. But if there are no problems and the sex is good, then you have to stop and consider where your partner stands. If your partner has more feelings than you and wants more, then the right thing to do is leave; if not, then enjoy.


This is a situation whereby your partner is always mistreating you through constant verbal abuse, mind games and degradation. If you’re in a relationship where your partner is the type to put you down, talk down to you, and make a fool of you for the sake of laughter, then it’s time to reconsider your relationship.

Bad communication

If you are in a relationship that has bad communication, it will naturally fail on its own over time. Constant miscommunications will turn small issues into giant arguments that could have been avoided, and eventually, will one day lead to a breakup. If you can’t talk to your partner like they are your best friend, then you are really just in a sexual relationship.

Read also: Exciting Ways You Can Get Closer To Your Lover

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