I cannot say NO to her/him because I don’t want to offend them. Many people have been in this tight corner so many times that they have eventually yielded and said YES to what they normally would have said no to. Then they will begin to grumble and wish that they had said no.
A good example of this is when your friend calls you to lend some money. Of course, you don’t have enough to borrow, but you went ahead to give them the money. Then you start struggling to make ends meet. You are just being unfair to yourself.
If you don’t want to be in this situation, here are smart tips for saying NO without offending anyone or feeling guilty:
This is mainly for the people pleaser. No is not in their dictionary. You can prepare yourself for saying no by practicing in your private closet first. Start by saying No, No, No, every morning. Before you know, any proposal that may inconvenience you, you will not hesitate to say No. You will be surprised at the ease with which you blurted it.
Have a go phrase
The go-phrase will, first of all, make whoever is making the request feel good. After this, you can drop the bomb that you are unable to grant their request. For example “I sincerely appreciate it that you came to me first. I am humbled. I’m sorry, but I have other commitments then, so I’m not available.” At this point, the only thing you say is I’m sorry.
Say I don’t instead of I can’t
This is semantics. But a number of people will perceive I can’t as rude and disrespectful. So, to be more subtle, you should use I don’t. Generally, you can use it interchangeably as it depends on how you say it. Preferably, though, always use I don’t.
Keep discussions brief
You should not talk too much since you are not granting the person’s request. Don’t go talking in an attempt grease the person’s already bruised ego. He or she will be offended the more.
This is perhaps the most important. If you cannot do what someone wants. Don’t make any promise that you are going to. Avoid telling lies and just humbly decline the request.
Written by Damilola Faustino