It’s Sunday. You wake up, get ready to head to church or brunch or just get out of bed. You open your eyes- and your room looks like a bomb hit it. It’s so messy! And what’s extra annoying is, none of it’s your fault- it’s all your partner.
‘Ah but Aisha, there’s no law that says ALL the pee must go in the bowl!’
Before you met your partner and started to live with them, you both lived different lives. As a result, it is unlikely that you will have the same standards where cleanliness and general organisation of the home are concerned. Dealing with messy partners is a sensitive subject but a necessity as the problem will affect your personal life, not to mention your feelings for that partner. What are the best ways to go about it?
The most important thing to remember when you choose to handle a messy partner is be careful with your approach. It’s annoying, especially when you have to keep complaining about it, but if you want a solution to the problem, stop complaining. Stop nagging. Such reactions are only likely to force your partner to get defensive and a solution can’t be reached that way. Instead of bringing up the problem the minute you notice it, use the moment to set time aside to sit down and find a solution. Tell your partner you’d like to talk to them at so-so time, sit and talk.
When you are both seated and ready to talk, you calmly point out the issue to them. Explain that it is important because of how it affects you and your feelings about them, and with their input, talk about how best to sort the problem out among yourselves. Agreeing on a structure or system of dealing with the problem such as sorting out who takes the trash out on what day helps.
Figuring out for your partner how to make chores a bit more fun is a great way to get them done. For instance, pointing out that they can listen to music while they do the dishes may encourage a partner who hates washing dishes. Keeping them company or simply being in the room is another way to make sure they get through it a lot easier.
It may be crucial while dealing with messier partners to eventually accept the standard they manage to rise to. If she never folded the clothes before, does that now, but doesn’t put them in wardrobe the way you prefer, you may have to accept that and arrange them how you like after her.
Dealing with messy partners is never easy, but reaching a resolution is always worth the effort as it helps you live more comfortably as individuals and as a couple.
Written by Olutobi Odunubi
Photo Credit: Facebook