No one willingly jumps into long distance relationships, do they? I mean, if we could choose, most of us would prefer being in a relationship with someone nearby rather than committing to someone an ocean away. Some say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it’s not true for everyone and even if it is for others, how long before the heart strays?
‘Me when my boyfriend goes to pee in the middle of the night.’
There are studies that say couples in long distance relationships are more in love than those geographically close. They say long-distance couples tend to idealize their partners more. But then, these studies also reveal that partners in long distance relationships are lonelier and have much lower satisfaction levels. I think it’s safest to avoid long distance relationships, but there will be times when we find ourselves in them. Life could separate us from our partners, so how do we live with it then?
Building trust is very important in any relationship, but more so in long distance ones. When you can’t be with each other, it is easier for your minds to wander and worry. Make concrete plans and see them through. Get into a routine such as Skype calls at a convenient time for both of you every day and never miss it.
Also, you must not stop learning about that person. Now that you live so far apart, there are bound to be things about your lives that are changing. You need to ask and get interested in those things. If he or she keeps mentioning a new coffee shop she goes to with friends for instance, show interest in the coffee shop. Ask why they like it and what it looks like.
In long distance relationships, you need to keep them close with little, real gestures. You can’t be there with them but you could send flowers, letters, or a random item in your house that you know they like.
Finally, talk with them about the future. Your relationship won’t be long distance forever, so it’s a good idea to plan and constantly remind each other of how you see a future together. Long distance relationships are tough, but couples that love each other can no doubt pull through with patience and attention to each other.
Written by Olutobi Odunubi