The general rules of dating a shy guy are applicable to dating a shy girl as well, here are the things that need to be taken care of if your lady love is shy and you want to bring her beyond her inhibitions.
Listen to her
This stays true for dating in general but especially true if you want your shy date to open up. Make them feel important, always pay attention to the small details and try to remember them.
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Listen to everything she says with interest and don’t let anything else distract you. Shy people often feel invisible, don’t let her feel that way when she is with you, make her your number one, your priority.
Don’t mix shyness with arrogance
When you first start seeing her and try to engage her in a conversation but get small replies, do not confuse it with being rude or arrogant unless she actually snaps at you. People who are shy are generally considered high headed, but that is not the case most of the time. It’s just that they take their time opening up and feel vulnerable in exposing themselves to everyone. Don’t over analyze the situation.
Lower your expectations
Understand that this girl is a bit different from the other girls you have dated or have around as friends. Don’t expect her to be chatting her lungs off like most girls would, she is reserved, she is hesitant. When you start going out with her don’t leave her with a daunting question like where do you want to go? or which movie should we watch? It might sound like a simple question to you but there are a million things she is already pretty nervous about, so give her time to open up and just choose the restaurant.
Be generous with compliments
This step is like a general dating etiquette of dating any woman but it holds more importance in case of a shy girl. The minute you see her tell her how beautiful she looks or how good she smells, this will boost her confidence and set a happy mood at the very beginning of the date.
Maintain eye contact
This is very important in case of a shy guy but quite the opposite in case of a shy girl. If you try to look straight into her eyes and try to make eye contact for a longer period, she may look away. What you need to understand is, this is not because she has a lack of interest in you but because she feels exposed to you, she thinks that you can now read her mind and she is not comfortable in letting you do so, yet. Let her ease into it and don’t get put off by this.
Be careful with the jokes
Generally, it is considered attractive to be playful and crack jokes around your date but this might not be true in case of a shy girl. You might be mocking her just for fun but it might hurt her feelings if you do feel like being funny around her at least choose your words carefully. Avoid making condescending jokes at all costs! Save your sense of humour for later and you shall be good.
Earn her trust
This can be the hardest part of dating a shy girl but you can do this by telling her more about yourself, involving her in your life decisions, telling her your secrets, giving her respect and most importantly by not lying to her. Be honest and caring in your conversation and in your responses. Be a reliable partner to her and you will be able to earn her trust in no time and it’s going to be worth every effort.
By Damilola Faustino
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