Following this week’s episode of Rate the Date we asked four people about dealbreakers in relationships too. Here’s how they responded.
Question 1: What is a dealbreaker for you in a relationship?
Ade: Cheating obviously.
Jessica: When it starts feeling one-sided.
Soprinye: Bad communication.
Chisom: If he doesn’t know how to spoil me with his money, time or emotions.
Question 2: Would you mind if your partner has history with one of your close friends?
Ade: Yes, I would. There’s always that spark that can be reignited and you want to avoid that by all means.
Jessica: I would like to think I won’t mind but I think I would. I like mysterious guys so I might actually feel embarrassed if my friend has been with my guy.
Soprinye: I would probably mind. I can look over it if my partner and I have gotten deeper. It’s something to be cautious of.
Chisom: God forbid. Made that mistake once, never to be repeated. I can’t predict the future but I never want to be in that position again.
Question 3: Do you think you must be informed of the history between your partner & friend before you and your partner become official?
Ade: Yes. I don’t want to be left in the dark and it would seem like there’s something being kept from me.
Jessica: Yes. I must be informed first.
Soprinye: I’d like to know. It would be better to have a clearer picture of what I’m getting into.
Chisom: I should have an idea of what has happened in your life but your past is your past. I don’t think I need to know proper details but I should know certain things.
Question 4: If there’s such history, whose responsibility is it to tell you? Your partner or your close friend?
Ade: It has to be from both of them.
Jessica: I’ll prefer to hear from him first (my partner). If I hear it from her first, the chances of her poking her nose into our business are higher.
Soprinye: My partner. I can understand my friend might not want to come in the middle of my relationship.
Chisom: My partner. But if my friend sees I’m getting serious with a guy from her past, she should tell me.
Question 5: On a scale of 1-10 how important are opinions your friends have about your partner to you? (1- Not so important, 10- Very important)
Ade: 3 because if I want to do something I’m still going to go ahead and do it.
Jessica: 2, I’d rather use my own judgement.
Soprinye: It depends on what the opinion is and where it is coming from. But probably a 4.
Chisom: 6. It’s kind of important to me.
Question 6: You notice your partner is still super tight with his/her ex. Your partner repeatedly tells you “it’s nothing.” How do you feel about this situation?
Ade: She might have to return to her ex. I don’t want us to be going back and forth because of old flames
Jessica: I’m cutting my partner off. That’s dangerous.
Soprinye: I’d definitely feel uncomfortable about it. I would most likely trust you enough to take your word for it but I won’t hide how uncomfortable I am about it.
Chisom: I don’t feel, I dip. I just gotta go.
Question 7: You just found out your partner and close friend have serious history. Your partner asks you “Do you want me to stop talking to her/him (your close friend)?” What is your reply?
Ade: Yes, stop talking to him. I’d tell my friend to stop talking to her too. Both of them should respect the relationship and set boundaries.
Jessica: Yes, I don’t want any room for temptation. If he says he can’t then I’ll definitely not force it.
Soprinye: It’s up to her. I would leave it to them to decide what they do but I’d prefer if they limited how much they talk.
Chisom: Why are you asking me? Can’t you use your own head to make the right decision? Do the right thing.
See also: We asked 5 people about sliding into DMs