As a plus-sized person, do you know how many times people have used my body size to insult me? Do you know how many times people have told me that I would be beautiful if I lost weight? Do you know how many times people have said you look good, for a big girl?
These are the kind of statements that make plus-size women like me feel like we are not beautiful. Asides that, the mainstream media already portrays slim women as the beauty standard, so you have fat women trying to lose weight so they can have the “perfect body” and be seen as beautiful.
I’ve struggled with my self-esteem for a long long time and that’s because I’ve always had people make negative comments about my weight; people who I called friends, family, men I dated…always made me feel like being plus-size is not the norm and if I wanted to be beautiful, I had to lose weight.
I’ve watched movies and read books where the fat person was always being bullied simply because she was fat, and then the fat person goes away for one summer and comes back slim and “hot” and now everybody wants to be her friend and everybody wants to date her. Why can’t the fat person just come back with a high level of self-esteem, loving her body, and not giving a sh*t what anybody says?
These are the kind of things that affected me as a fat kid, I always felt like I had to lose weight before anybody would truly like me or see me as beautiful, and as a teenager, I felt that boys were only attracted to slim girls because that was what I was seeing on TV. And I always felt like I could only wear certain things if I was slimmer and I had a flat tummy, and small arms and thighs; for the longest time I didn’t wear sleeveless tops because I was self-conscious about my flabby arms.
Till date, I still struggle with my weight, I have to remind myself every day that I am beautiful just the way I am. One of my ultimate favorite influencers is a woman called Thickleeyonce, a plus-sized woman who completely loves who she is. She’s one of the most stylish people I know and she wears every outfit with the type of confidence I hope to have someday. From bikinis to crop tops, she wears them all and I can’t tell you how much I love to see it. Of course, there are people in her comments making hurtful fat jokes and hate comments but she ignores them and goes about loving herself and doing her damn thing. Another person I admire is Latasha Lagos, a plus-sized woman who SLAYS and who happens to be on our cover magazine this month! Lizzo is another person I love! I love how there are many more plus-sized women owning and loving their bodies and not caring what people think.
Dear plus-sized woman, you are beautiful just the way you are, always remember that, and don’t allow ANYBODY to make you feel otherwise.
By: Dammy Eneli
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