Let’s be honest—we can’t always turn the other cheek. There are certain people who bring out the best in us and others who bring out the worst. Being the bigger person might mean different things in various contexts but it comes down to mastering self-control and not giving the same energy that has been given to you.
Although taking the high road is what is encouraged, a clapback is occasionally needed (Watch Shade Corner Season 1 Episode 3 on Clapbacks That Can Kill Somebody here). Once you find that you are always the bigger person in a relationship, you might begin to wonder whether it is time to give back the same energy you receive. Always being the bigger person can affect your relationship in the long run in many ways. For instance: you might find that your feelings are overlooked constantly because you’re so used to conceding or ignoring. Thus, you leave confrontations feeling unhappy or upset about the outcome.
Essentially, you end up allowing people take advantage of you because you think you are taking a better approach by ignoring or allowing people hit you where it hurts. The fact is, you build up resentment when you find yourself doing certain things out of obligation. This is true in the context of being the bigger person because you bottle up emotions, opinions and actions that are natural to you just because you do not want to ‘stoop’ to the person’s level.
“To whom gbas is given, gbos is expected”
You can redefine what being the bigger person means to you. Often times, we are the ones who determine how other people treat us. You do not want to end up being a pushover because other people know you don’t mind getting the shorter end of the stick. Speak up for yourself and drag whoever needs to be dragged.
By: Oshoriame Egbakhumeh
See also: Knowing When to Walk Away