Loving someone you can’t have can take a large emotional toll on you and your mental health and even your physical health. Longing to be with someone who is unattainable is both heart-wrenching and disheartening, and this type of emotional turmoil can feel unrelenting at times. Here are ways to relate with someone you love but cannot have.
Work through your feelings
When you love someone you can’t have, you may try to bury your feelings deep inside so you don’t have to deal with the hurt that the reality of the situation has caused you. It may seem easier to push down and hide these feelings of grief, disappointment, and longing that you’re experiencing so that you don’t have to face the pain. However, being able to work through the loss and hopelessness that you may be feeling is an important step when you’re in love with someone you can’t have.
Simply focus on yourself
When’s the last time you did something nice for yourself? Rather than spending your time thinking about and obsessing over this person you can’t have, try to focus on the other person who actually deserves your love—you! By pampering yourself and practicing acts of self-love and self-care, you can put your energy and focus to better use by working to improve your own life. When you make yourself a priority again, you’re taking a major step in dealing with loving someone you simply can’t have.
Make for your real lover
Concentrating on your happiness and your mental and physical health are key when you’re desperately in love with a person who simply isn’t a possibility. Instead of spending time alone and shutting out others, now’s when you should surround yourself with your real lover and significant others. They can offer great support, guidance, and love, and by being around people who exude positive energy and have your best interest at heart, their optimistic outlook can help to reshape your own mindset as well.
Don’t be hard on yourself
When you love someone you can’t have, it’s not uncommon to be mad and frustrated with yourself that you’re not yet over this person or that you still love him or her in the first place. But the healing process takes time, and rather than being upset or fed up that you can’t immediately shut down your feelings for this other person, you should be proud of the fact that you took a risk by putting yourself out there at all.
Never give up on love
If you’re in love with someone you just can’t be with, one of the most important takeaways from this type of situation is to understand that you will find love again. While you may think that falling in love with someone again isn’t in the cards for you, this simply isn’t the case. Think about it—if you can love someone so deeply whom you can’t have, just imagine how much you can love someone you actually can have in the future.
By Damilola Faustino